The Lamont Diaries continued:
Lamont Gets his First Manicure
Yesterday morning, Sunday, at the criminally offensive hour of 0600, the young dandy, Lamont, insisted we embark immediately on our constitutional to Abraham Lincoln Park, where the buckaroo Lamont Proclaims his Emancipation at least thrice daily.
He argued he needed a butler to carry his poop bags, so I reluctantly surrendered and, after Lamont attached me to his leash, I stumbled behind him as he pranced, leading me into the barely post-dawn morning.
I was only surprised he didn't ask me to carry his top hat and hand carved walking stick.
Once at the park, at the base of Lincoln's statue on the concrete pavilion, was stationed a decidedly unique vision.
There, with an annoyingly broad grin and chipper demeanor, a young African-American man had set up shop with a folding table, a chalk board easel signage, and a selection of canine beauty products and tools.
The sign read: "Dog manicures." At 0600 on a Sunday morning. In the heart of urban Washington, D.C.
Lamont trotted up for a closer observation, wiggling and swishing to offer the man a proper morning howdy-do.
"Hi pal, what is your name," said the young entrepreneur.
"Lamont," interpreted his butler.
"Hey! That is my name!" said the man. "I am very pleased to meet you!"
And Lamont responded in sincere kind. "Would you like a manicure?" Lamont said to Lamont.
Lamont's butler, in an embarrassed mumble, said Lamont was a "tad cashless this morning."
"Oh, that's no problem. Come on up on the table and let me take a look at your feet."
With that, Lamont was placed on the man's make shift -place of business. "Hhhmm. OK. Your feet sure do need a bit of attention." And out came the clippers.
Initially, Lamont was a little unsure of this alarming development. An armed black man was restraining the young Lamont, inspecting his paws while wielding a sharp steel instrument.
But Lamont, being a man who has good instincts of character, gave me the go ahead wink, and he quickly relaxed, relishing the attention.
Lamont thanked Lamont for his generous deed. And the human Lamont toweled him off and gave him two packages of gourmet cookies.
And they exchanged smooches.
Then Lamont pranced off to rumble with the other, mesmerized dogs eying him jealously from the nearby field.
Is this a great country or what? ■