A conversation with the Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan on Bernie Sanders and cats

Conversations with the Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan continued……

By Nate Thayer

February 4, 2016

This evening I had a chat with Frank Ancona, the Imperial Wizard of the Traditionalist Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, the largest KKK outfit in the U.S.

Ancona sent me a message with an attached image: "This picture is probably why the government thinks I was conspiring with high-ranking government officials lol"

Me: Bingo! Finally there is evidence! But who is the guy in the middle?

FA: Rafiki

Me: WTF is Rafiki?

FA: Haven't you ever watched The Lion King?

Me: No. I am a pop culture illiterate

FA: He's the wise monkey that gives Simba-I think it's Simba-the king lion all the good advice

Me: I see. I thought you people thought that was Obama

FA: So Obama should take that as a compliment me comparing him to Rafiki

Me: I think referring to the black president as a monkey will not go over well any way you spin it

FA: It will probably get me put in Facebook jail

Me: As well it should. Or in re-education camp after the revolution. BTW, you live not far from the Ozarks, right?

FA: Right I basically drive through the Ozarks every night

Me: Ever heard of Elohim City in Oklahoma?

FA: No

Me: Oh. You probably have. That is a white nationalist community where McVeigh and a bunch of others hung out. They are a Christian Identity, white separatist community on 400 acres in Oklahoma

FA: Okay yeah I knew the name sounded familiar just couldn't place it. It must be close to the Missouri Oklahoma border

Me: Yes. Exactly. Not far from Ft Smith, I think. Near Stillwell. Dennis Mahon used to be "Imperial Dragon in the Oklahoma Ku Klux Klan and an organizer for White Aryan Resistance". He kept a trailer there. I think they were connected to the Missouri White Knights of the KKK in the 90's. Anyways, they have like 200 people living on a private compound and I may pay a visit. They are more Christian Identity, Sovereign Citizen white nationalist types. So I could swing up and say hi to you probably

FA: That would be great. When are you planning on going?

Me: Not sure. It is another long-term project. These guys are more like the Oregon folks. Anti-federal government etc etc, but also white nationalists

FA: There is a lot of those types of groups in these parts with names like hunting clubs or sporting clubs

Me: Well, you tell me: This is a compound on private property where 200+ people live. As far as I can tell, it is the biggest community of its type in the US. The ones in Idaho have been taken down long ago

FA: It sure sounds like it. But I can see it being easier for those types of groups to thrive in Missouri with our laws

Me: McVeigh was there two weeks before the OK city bombing. So was Nichols

Me: Well. Oklahoma seems pretty amenable, too. This was the place the feds took out in 1993. They sent like 300 ATF agents disguised as fisherman and then overran the place. I thought it was gone. But it is not

FA: I'm surprised they're inviting you come check the place out

Me: Remember that guy who was executed for killing an Arkansas cop on April 19, 1995 a few hours before McVeigh blew up the fed building in OK city? He was from there.

Me: Well, I am good, Frank. What can I say

FA: I just had some hot looking Asian gal send me a friend request named Alyssa Barker. She's either Asian or Filipino or something like that

Me: Alyssa Barker? That sounds very suspicious. Don't trust Asian gals. They are up to no good

One, do not accept

Two, she wants your money or access to your social media accounts

Three, she may be a boy

FA: Nope I'm not accepting. I've had several of those and a bunch of people on Skype trying to contact me as well.

Me: Yeah! Me too. What is with that?

FA: I don't know it keeps saying I have voice mails but I can never listen to them

Me: Yes. Exactly

FA: Probably people trying to get us to vote for Ted Cruz. It is annoying

Me: I see you have come out full force for Trump. What happened to your one Cruz guy on the Imperial Board?

FA: He had a change of heart and stayed with us

Me: Cruz is a knucklehead

FA: He said some things I thought were ok, but when I see what he did to Ben Carson I see he's definitely a hypocrite. Trump was right. He is a nasty guy and no one likes him

Me: And for what it is worth, Trump is a charlatan in my view. I think he is going to one day just up and say "Ha Ha. I tricked you all! I was kidding about this president thing"

FA: I hate to say it but you may be right. I know if I had his money I sure as hell wouldn't be wasting my time running for president

Me: I think you should come out for Bernie Sanders. He is much closer to your political views

FA: I got to say Bernie definitely seems to be an honest down to earth guy

Me: Yep. And your enemy is Wall Street, not the black guy next door

and note Bernie doesn't have a lot of black guy support. But then again, he is Jew, which would complicate things for you people

FA: You know I saw last night where he played a Rabbi in a movie. That was pretty funny

Me: Really? What movie? I know Bernie took his wife to Moscow for their honeymoon. What kind of guy takes a honeymoon to Moscow?

FA: Can't remember the name. It's from about 20 years ago but he was rabbi Manischewitz

Me: You know, Bernie also wrote hard-core porn fiction

FA: I read about it but I haven't read his book

Me: It is an article. That will come back to bite him in the butt. But I like Bernie

FA: I'm sure he's getting so much support it really has to be pissing Hillary off

Me: Oh yeah. But I think you should think outside the box and consider Bernie. He hates the establishment power brokers who have been ripping off people like me and you forever

FA: That might be one way to get me replaced as Imperial Wizard

Me: Yes. Perhaps. And there is the commie pinko part, too

Me: But if you get past the commie pinko Jew part, he is your man, for sure. What do you have in common with Trump who inherited 42,000 apartments in NYC when he turned 18? I doubt he has ever been to Missouri

FA: Last night Trump was down in Little Rock Arkansas. Yeah, we don't have much in common. Except that we both think his daughter is hot lol

Me: Oh man. Frank, a bit of advice: Don't talk dirty about people's daughters to other journalists than me. It won't end well

FA: I know. That's right. When I talk to other journalists I have to act squeaky clean like Ted Cruz lol

Me: Yeah. That guy oozes fakery. Most journalists ooze fakery same same-very bad people-journalists and politicians. Don't trust any of them

FA: He reminds me of Jimmy Swaggert

Me: Yeah-he does! His eyes are too close together. He is creepy. But I prefer Swaggert. Although that motel thing was sort of a dumb move

FA: Well I see where all my income tax money is going to be going (Ancona sends an image of his wife appealing for funds for a cat refuge).

Me: Your wife is a very lovable bat shit crazy cat woman. You will go broke. Cats are like ex girlfriends-all take and no give. I am a dog guy

FA: Me too. She's got me running for city alderman just so I can help pass ordinances to help the feral cats out

Me: LOL

FA: I actually have a lot of neighbors who asked me to run not because of cats but because of our corrupt city government taking our water money and using it for things they shouldn't

Me: OK. This conversation is now officially hilarious. I may need to post it for a wider public appreciation. But I don't want to piss off your wife. That scares me

FA: Me too I occasionally find long knives hidden in her nightstand drawer

Me: That is not good Frank. I just spit out my water

FA: I was sleeping on the couch and one of her 30 pound cats jumped on my face, woke me up out of a dead sleep, and I said 'I'm going to rip that cat's head off'. I thought she was going to kill me.

The cat's name is pig just to give you an idea of how big and heavy he is.

Me: Your life is in clear danger. I suggest you call a women's shelter for safe temporary housing

FA: His claw tore into my face just about a centimeter from my eyeball

Me: Very bad. That is what cats and ex-GF's do

FA: The cats in my house have to be treated like the sacred cows in India

Me: Yes. And your wife above that. Do not call her a sacred cow as a compliment because she likely will kill you. I know about these things

FA: I'm thinking if I ever get out of the Klan I could start some new religion having to do with cats and get rich off of it.

Me: No. There is no religion which likes cats. Start one with dogs as religious icons. I fear for Sweetie's (Frank's dog's name) welfare when you go to work, frankly

Me: I think the Imperial Wizard is like being the King. Nobody can tell you to fuck off. Is that about right?

Me: Yes

FA: I took Sweetie to work with me the other day and she loved it again

Me: I thought so. You need to watch the Monty Python movie about being King

FA: She's bad for my image of the Imperial Wizard. I can't be seen walking a little Chihuahua with a pink leash.

Me: Protect Sweetie with your life. It is your obligation. She is in danger with all those cats around.

FA: I need to contact one of my neo Nazi friends and get her a black studded leather collar with swastika hanging from it

Me: Sweetie will still be a Chihuahua. You need to be more tolerant of different breeds.

Me: OK. I need to post this conversation. But I need your A-OK first. Tell me to fuck off, and I won't

FA: I'm good with it. You know I don't care what people think

Me: But it is very funny and brings a human face to the Klan. You need a human face. Tell me whether it results in a surge of membership applications. ■

Originally published on nate-thayer.com (Feb 2016). Recovered via the Wayback Machine.