Prominent Canadian Sex Advice Columnist and Very, Very Good Bad Girl Weighs in on Atlantic Kerfuffle Over Pay the Writer
By Nate Thayer
June 2, 2013
Yesterday I received a very supportive message from an esteemed colleague in the international press corps, which was deeply appreciated.
In addition to being a renowned, nationally syndicated Canadian sex advice columnist, Alex Tigchelaar has been a stripper, sex worker, playwright, performance artist and an all-around very, very good very bad girl.
She made me smile.
Alex Tigchelaar wrote in support of the lingering, only slightly muted, kerfuffle over writers being paid for their work which was sparked by a recent exchange I had with the Atlantic magazine which sought to engage my professional services with the caveat that I agree they did not have to pay me for them.
As a professional colleague, Alex took strong offense to this arrangement and wrote me to say just that.
Dear Nate,
Thank you for giving me something to reference/talk to people about when they are surprised to see me, a formerly syndicated columnist, standing behind the bar at Sweaty Betty's or mopping the floor at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre.
I say, "Read Nate Thayer's piece on the state of journalism. If he's being asked to write for free we're all fucked."
On the upside it's been nice talking to people about what a positive impact my work had on them.
As you probably know yourself, you usually only hear from people who want to kill you when you are actively writing.
Thanks Nate, for your dignified outrage.
If you are in Toronto please stop by Sweaty Betty's. Drinks are on me if I'm behind the bar.
I also bartend at a transsexual strip club.
Not sure if that's more up your alley but if it is, again, drinks on me.
Your pal and longtime fan,
Alex
My colleague journalist, sex worker, and Renaissance woman Alex Tigchelaar
Buddies in Bad Times is a theatre company dedicated to the promotion of Queer Canadian Culture, voted Toronto's Best Small Theatre Company in 2012, and "dedicated to the nurturing, protection, and celebration of queer culture."
Alex is clearly an advocate of the Queer community, but maintains cynical distance of blind support for what appears to be just about anything—an essential trait of good journalism. "Homos and hookers go together like peanut butter and jam—sometimes anyway. I could do without some of this current crop of queer, The Revolution Starts Up My Ass hookers."
Sweaty Betty's is a storied Toronto dive bar where "the tortured literati rendezvous nightly", a "small, bordello-inspired den" located across the street from one of Toronto's oldest mental institutions.
"In a city of infused vodkas and creative cocktails, Betty's refuses to mix anything with more than three ingredients, "said a review in Lonely Planet of Sweaty Betty's. " This no-nonsense approach pares a night out at the bar to the essentials: having a good time and chatting people up."
Betty's sounds like my kind of establishment and Alex my kind of barkeep.
The only negative comment I found on Sweaty Betty's was an online review from 'Mellisa', who objected to "one of the male bartenders stole my friend's hat from off the bar where she put it down for a moment. She phoned them the next day and asked if they had found it, they said no. Then, the next time she went, she saw the guy WEARING her hat." But even Mellisa said "I do like the location, décor and ambiance of Sweaty Betty's — but I can only put up with the people if I've already been drinking. And drinking a LOT."
Sign at Toronto bar Sweaty Betty's
Alex did not identify the transsexual strip club where she bartends, but I am confident I can get the directions from her next time I am in Toronto where I will be sure to drop by Sweaty Betty's to quench my considerable thirst for people with minds like Alex Tigchelaar.
Former journalist and Sweaty Betty's barkeep, Alexandra Tigchelaar, from whom I have a standing invitation for drinks on the house, is indeed a formerly nationally syndicated columnist in Canada–author of the weekly sex advice Montreal Mirror's column Love Bites from 1999 to 2009. Her work as a journalist has been widely praised as insightful, witty, powerful, and honest.
But, in addition, Alex has an impressive resume which includes neo-Burlesque performer, stripper, artist, playwright, sex worker, actor, author, and journalist who sometimes writes under the pen name Sasha Van Bon Bon.
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